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I am The Helper

Fred Rogers, also known as Mister Rogers, told a story in a 1986 syndicated news column about what his mom would tell him as a child during times of crisis: "My mother would say to me, 'Always look for the helpers,' she’d tell me. 'There’s always someone who is trying to help.'"

There are two powerful implications about the helper framing shared by Mister Rogers. The first is that helpers are active and identified by their actions. Information and words of care and comfort are undoubtedly important in a crisis. However, seeing people in action, knowing things are being done to mitigate harm and find resolution, provides a sense of stability during chaos.

Secondly, is the idea that helpers are trying. They may not have all the answers and are figuring things out in the moment, but they’re trying. Tinu Abayomi-Paul, a disability and social justice advocate who recently passed away, had a saying that I’ve adopted as a mantra lately, “Anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed.” Anything, no matter how seemingly small or impossible, is worth trying for the sake of progress, especially when it comes to people’s safety and well-being.

Mister Rogers’ helper story has stayed with me to this day. When I’m overwhelmed by fear and uncertainty, I intentionally shift focus from what’s happening to who’s helping and how. Only now, as an adult, as an advisor, and as a believer in thriving people and communities, I also understand that I am now the helper.

How am I showing up in moments of crisis? As the helper many are looking for both personally and professionally, I have to provide information and reassurance, but I also have to instruct and mobilize. When there’s information overload, clarity is a priority. People want to know and see what I’m doing, not just what I’m thinking. They also want to know what they can do because they, too, want to be helpers. “There’s always someone who is trying to help.”

One of the biggest joys of my work is that I’m surrounded by helpers who are so committed to helping. They’re learning new skills and building a community to support each other while becoming better helpers. Helpers need help, too.

If you’re reading this, hear me and believe – you are a helper. What you’re saying matters; what you’re doing matters more. Keep trying any and all the things, big or small. Look for other helpers and help each other. Tell people what they can do to help.

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” - Fred Rogers

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